So easy

It was so easy and fun to study when we don't have any assignments to research for for our minor subjects! I was able to read the whole chapter for my Physiology class, do summary note takings for my first hw in Current Issues class! Next would be Ecology... I think my minor subjects take up most of my time when they give out HWs. Thank God there are none!

I wouldn't be home for the weekend because my batch would be having a field work for our Ecology Laboratory course at Bolinao, Pangasinan. We're assigned in Sandy Intertidal. So i wouldn't be able to blog then...

Since I was able to read the whole chapter one of my Physiology lecture class, I didn't take down notes anymore, so there was a part of me wanting to wander the dream world again. And so I did with caution. All I ever dreamed about was the dream house, and how I think I would meet the One. And somehow, I don't know I'd surrender or have my reservations. But anyway I told him, whoever he was that I was waiting for him long enough. :D I was careful not to mess up with what I have now. I think I enjoyed being part of another world. But I didn't immerse myself into it unlike before. I liked that!

Homeworks

Assignments, just for fun.

Monday
PGC- due at 8AM: term paper (book) on _______???
Current Issues with RUS- continuation of HW + recitation, current issues + recitation (this class should be called, Sociology with Recitation course)
Physiology Lecture- read chapter 1
Physiology Lab- bring potato tubers, cheesecloth, labgown, study experiment 1 + short quiz

Wednesday
Ecology Lecture: chapter 1 & 2 long exam
ETAR: read chapter 1&2
PGC: long exam on _______??

Toasted

This entry is related to the previous post.

I wasn't able to attend my classes today. How sad... Now that I've wanted to change my study habits and all. But the thing I cannot change in my life is the love for sleep. Anyway, stayed up very early in the morning, a little past 12 midnight, just so that I can have something to talk about during graded recitation (researched for it). The thing is, I woke up at 4:15, and i just can't do it. So I missed the my 3 classes. How sad, really.
I did go to school for my research thesis. Finally, we made yet another step today! And the next would be on Tuesday for the Scanning Electron Microscope at the Research Institute for Tropical Medicine at the Department of Health, Alabang Muntinlupa City. *sigh* I'm really tired today. And also yesterday because my groupmates and I went to Caloocan, and searched for a specific motor oil. We scoured the many stores that lined 10th Avenue. Glad it was done.

While going to school, and probably leaving school, my mind was all blank with anger/frustration/irritation. Good thing I chanced upon a good friend at the library and we talked about it. I don't have thoughts in my head. I just have the angry emotion in it. I try to stop it sometimes, or, when God is blessing me with people/strangers I have to be kind and polite with. That made me smile today. God is really great. He surprises us all the time, I'm smiling right now.


I want to rest/sleep before doing school work again. No day to rest at all. My free days: Sunday, Tuesday and Friday are spent on doing homeworks and studying. :) Goodluck!

Toast

1

I haven't been focusing on my mantra that much for this week. Instead of outside the tornado of life, observing, I am in it with other people, pulling, panting and confused. From time to time during mornings, walking at a garden in front of my building I am reminded that the world/life is beautiful. And the way I say it to myself is like I'm convincing myself, so I laugh which is totally funny (well, for me). So anyway, I am panicky, hot-headed, super sensitive. I am paranoid, I doubt other people. While ranting to a friend, I realized that I easily get too frustrated with people. Strangers who sit next to me during commute, long-time friends who say some things that for them (and probably for other people) is normal but for me, is quite negative (it's probably the reaction on their faces which annoys me). But there is actually nothing to be irritated about at all.

I am distracted by what's happening in front of me, and to others. I should practice being on my own bubble. I think that's what I wanted on my first day of school as a university student, 4 years ago. I wanted to be mature about everything. Like what I've been learning from Meditation at Ananda Marga Yoga. But then after a few days, I said to myself, why change if this is really who I am? <--- that was 4 years ago. Now, to have a simpler life, free of thoughts, and only full of love, I have to read the newsletters again.

There is progress actually. Everytime there is a lecture, I focus now on it. I think of the present, what's right in front of me. Now, the next step would probably be, to do something productive when there is no lecture, something to keep the mind from thinking unwanted thoughts. Or to focus, or simply, to meditate. Will try that tomorrow.

School work is piling up. Thanks to professors who give students lots of homework so that they wouldn't teach anymore! <----- Okay, that was a wrong call. I should be full of love and happiness right now. It's wrong. Should always be positive! YES YES YES!

Hi! I know I haven't been writing for a while...

because i think I have really nothing to write about now school's started again. I'm still not yet doing my sociology homework or even my Philippine Government Constitution homework. Anyway, I hate that my class doesn't have our books yet because I'm dying to read the first chapters already! Or the smell of newly opened books!

My friend and I watched Easy A yesterday when classes were suspended because of a strike. The movie was nice. Totally forgettable, but nice and wonderful! haha :)

We were at Fully Booked before watching so I scouted for books people might want to give me as Christmas gifts.

1

2

The Elegant Universe by Brian Greene looks cool but I tried to read the first chapter through NY Times, and I can't understand it! I think it's because I'm not a physicist. :(

Anyway, I have been watching educational, scientific videos online. One, was about Animators of Life (also through the NY Times website). It's about Cell Biology and how scientists/animators bring the mechanisms to life by cinematic processes. The other one I watched in youtube, it was about the Natural Killer Cell. Anyway, I also read something about Gliese____. Gliese, I think, was the name of the star, and Gliese____ was the name of one of the planets orbiting it which can actually support water. It's actually a great scientific discovery. I've read also that scientists over and over find these 'habitable' planets, only to disregard and trash it altogether after probably some additional findings. I kind of got saddened that the article I was reading ended by a scientist who's kind of negative about the finding. Anyway anyway...

Here's a link to the article about the Animators of Life. The video can also be found there.

Here's a link to the article about the new habitable planet found.

I am currently trying to load a trailer of an upcoming movie starring Natalie Portman, the Black Swan. It was the first time I ever heard of it. Thanks to the NY Times website!

A Day or Two

I'm excited for our research! It's because we finally know where and when to have our nanoparticles viewed in a Transmission Electron Microscope. Yahoo! Thank you thank you thank you!

Plans today
I'm supposed to be researching for my Current Issues course. And I would love to have started reading for our Ecology course but too bad, my class doesn't have the books yet. I was planning on painting my newly painted cabinets today with watercolor. My mom doesn't like the idea, she said if it doesn't turn out to be okay, she'll kill me. haha! Good thing I texted my friend/artist Bianca first about it, and she told me to use acrylic paint! Thank God thank God! :)

Later, we'll be dining out because it's my cousin's birthday! Yay! I have classes tomorrow though. Just an update!

My Last Semester of College Started Today!

And I was happy because I got to share my new found solution to a friend who needs it too. But anyway, whatever works for her! I hope she can benefit from what I've learned.

Photo Credit

I was talking to a friend about how happy and contented I am now. I am. Just a few minutes ago, I've watched Time Traveler's Wife again. The second time I've watched it, (first time at the cinema). It was beautiful. Okay, so I was saying a while ago, that I'm good now that I'm single/alone or maybe, I've accepted the fact that I am single and alone now, I'm contented. So anyway, before Time Traveler's Wife, I took a sneak peek again at Vanilla Sky, trying to see what I would feel about living in dreams when I've already changed. But I would soon finish the movie again and write a post about it. Today I shall write about the Time Traveler's Wife.

Well, I admittedly, wanted someone before (I'm saying, I still want him still, but wouldn't think about it 24/7). So, the movie, showed me how I also wanted someone, and that I was waiting. What I realized just now is this: I still want him, and am hoping for the best. That he will come, surely. And I would love him, totally.

Photo Credit

That's the conclusion. I'm not giving up.

What do I think about now? Well, I prefer to think of what's right in front of me. When stressful thoughts creep in, I immediately say my mantra. For what seems like forever before I've changed, I consider having no one a problem. A huge problem, that has to be solved by that other one. For the past few days, I have not thought about it, and I'm glad. Maybe I stopped thinking about it since I considered it a problem. But now, just today, I learned to think about The One, happily (that's where hoping for the best comes). I do not long for him that much. I just think of him and what we would do when we're finally together. hihihihi :)

That's the important Thought of the Day.

Simply, Loving.

“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”

Martin Luther King, Jr.

As I have realized one night, the simplest and easiest thing we could do with life is to love. Being angry, hateful, these kinds of emotions stress us. If we continue to think about the people that hurt us, the events we were ashamed of then we wouldn't really feel free. The simplest way to get a ticket to freedom is to look at everything with loving eyes. You don't have to understand. Just feel the love. Look at the walls with love, look at it with loving, smiling eyes. The way we look at our world matters. What they say is true after all. Sometimes we have to learn and realize these things ourselves in order to accept them, incorporate them in our lives fully. My friends kept telling me this, but I was stubborn back then. So now, I am writing to you, it works after all.

May we never forget this truth.

Beautiful, beautiful. Only beautiful.

I'm on 108, I flipped the pages after and I realized, I'm on the last story and my own journey is ending. All I kept saying to myself was, "Beautiful, beautiful. Only beautiful."

What a lovely story and what a great story-teller, Elizabeth Gilbert is. I enjoyed how she wrote her book. The book if full of honesty. That's what I liked about it. 

What I learned, simply in:

Italy- take pleasure always. Reward yourself always.

India- I have my own mantra now, "Quiet the mind." I always say this to myself now, although the power of it might be lacking on something more positive. But I'm learning, learning and also after my mind achieves the quietness I'm relaxed, calm and now positive thoughts could enter. <3

Indonesia- I still don't know what I've learned from this trip. But I have in mind some things I would like to remember. In the end, Gilbert mentioned that it seems like a fairytale ending because she even had Felipe with her. However, she realized that she wasn't rescued by her prince, but was the "administrator of her own rescue". I liked that idea. I used to think and believe that my life would fall into place when I meet The One. Truly, I ask God for that person. I remember my friend James telling me during our retreat that God doesn't give us everything right away. And I told him, but i'm actually asking only for one thing, not everything! And then, with much more thinking during the retreat I realized I've been only asking God for that one person. But it seems that when He gives me that person, God would eventually be giving me everything else too. So moving on, I like that self-realization of Elizabeth Gilbert. I thought of that too before but was too depressed anyway to incorporate it in my life. But now that I have my mantra now, I don't think of that certain person anymore and the life that we would be having. I used to think of that 24/7 but now I don't and I'm very grateful. I'm now focused on myself and what I can do. This might not sound okay for some but I think of myself now, with more focus. I also used to think of other people too much. I don't really give time for myself. But now I do. <3 What I also like about Bali, was her honesty. I think before I re-think and playback all the hurtful thoughts in mind, playing them over and over but not for forgiveness like what Gilbert did, but for self-pity. hehe, I don't know if I can actually do that now because I'm quite relaxed now. But maybe one by one when these thoughts creep on me again, I'd forgive them and send them to my heart too. That's why on a previous entry, I've doubted myself if I'm just suppressing the feelings and thoughts and not addressing them or I'm not yet completely healed but on my way. Maybe this is a vacation. I'm quite relaxed and loving now. I try to love and be non-judgmental. I try now...

So all in all, all I can say is, I love her writing, her memoir, her changed life. She, and I know a lot of people out there, serve as an inspiration for those wanting to change their toxic lives too. I know the feeling, and I'm trying it out even though I can't fly to my three places too. But I'm following her footsteps when it comes to taking pleasure, praying and balancing. Although honestly, it's not a religious following, but I am trying. 

And now let's pray..

Dearest God, I thank you for the people in the world who serve as inspirations for the troubled ones. They themselves were troubled and now they are healed. May we always remember that problems are temporary and our lives could change for the better. And always there are people willing to help. Thank you Lord. Amen.

Food Gifts, (please?)

As always I like receiving gifts from people, especially when they're food. Although I can't remember any incident of people giving me the kind of food gifts I want, that's probably because I don't have any suitors. So anyway, moving on... I chanced upon Dessert Comes First because I'm subscribed to Patti's Palette and she posted an entry saying she was featured in a dessert blog. So truly enchanting, the dessert blog is Manila based. So I remember now how I truly, really, honestly want someone (guys) who would surprise me with the food I want. My dream guy would treat me to fancy restaurants, out-of-town restaurants, treat me to bakeshops I've never been to before. That saying, the dream guy has to have work so it actually means he's older than me. I'm actually mentioning Troy here again. But whatever, the dream guy of course is imaginary and I don't have time for imaginations right now. <3

I would like to receive a dozen cupcakes from Sweet Patti Cakes. All of their flavors please because it sounds and looks really delectable from the pictures and from the reviews and as Patti blogs herself. It's kind of pricey though, 900 pesos a dozen. I actually dropped the whole thing at first when I learned it that it was so costly for a dozen cupcake. That's why I wished for others, instead to give me a box. But reading the review done by Dessert Comes First, I really want it so badly now that my first/second savings when the semester comes would be reserved for this beautiful treat.

A poor screenshot of the website's menu section.

You can read the review and more pictures here.

Another cupcake I would like to try is from Sonja's Cupcakes. I don't know if they have a website though but the review is right here. I entered their little store once years ago, and I actually thought their cupcakes were pricey too. That's why I made the mistake of leaving the store with a cupcake-free stomach. But reading the review, I think I over-judged (if there is such a word) their cupcakes by price and looks. Sure, their cupcakes look sweet, cool, really sweet-looking but I though then that I wouldn't spend that much for just a cupcake. As I learned from the review, the cupcake is only 55 pesos. I think I didn't have money back then or just didn't want my sister to spend on such a cupcake but I would now that I'm older and wiser. :D Anyway, I would really make sure to taste their cupcakes! I would reserve money for Sonja's Cupcakes!

Photo Credit

So anyway, I'm still sad because no one would like to give me free treats and I can't even ask my mom to buy me these because I (and mommy) consider it as a luxury. So I realized that to attain happiness: don't wait for others to give you gifts; give yourself a gift right now!  So I actually did that last Wednesday after my research group met. I ate lunch at Pancake House alone and chose a new dish one I haven't tried before. It was their new pasta and of course a strawberry milkshake. The pasta started with C________ Bacon with Asparagus _______ __________. I forgot the last two words because I couldn't pronounce it. hehe It was good. I thought I wouldn't be able to finish the whole plate, but anyway I managed, what with my I-thought-so-small stomach. I was really happy eating good food. And I was reading Eat Pray Love at that time and it felt like I'm in Italy. <3 Much much love. I always say to my mom that I'm happy when I get to eat at restaurants with great food. And at university, there really are a few little restaurants that serve great dishes. Anyway, I have to be grateful. So I'm happy when mom treats me to restaurants. She is my mom after all, and I have no work yet. Too bad I wasn't able to take a picture.

So about the realization, I will now save money for these treats and not wait (until I probably die) for people to give me treats. 

Should I hide my heart?

And I wish I could lay down beside you
When the day is done
And wake up to your face under the morning sun
But like everything I've ever known
You'll disappear one day
So I'll spend my whole life hiding my heart away
And I can't spend my whole life hiding my heart away

-Hiding my Heart by Brandi Carlile

I used to be like this. With my meditations, I have a calm mind now. But honestly, am I just being cautious with the world and how I interact with people?

Blogger's Random Question

I got this question in my blogger profile, unfortunately my answer was too long. So I decided to post it here because I find it really cool.


Random Question: 

The children are waiting! Please tell them the story about the bald frog with the wig:

Well, here it is. The bald frog was a cursed frog. He was a mean old frog. One day, when he was still an ordinary frog, he chanced upon a fairy who was singing under some bushes. The frog started insulting the fairy, yelling, "Yo! You're singing sucks it's making my tympanic membranes break!!!" The fairy was very much insulted, and turned the frog bald.

After that experience, the bald frog can't take all the teasing and whispers whenever he passes anywhere! So he decided to wear a wig. Too bad there's not one wig in the land that'll look natural on him. :(

*The story posted is original--imagined out of the brain by Margarita. ;)

My friend J-em as our Biology mascot, Mrs. Rana sp.

Dogs, People, Love and Food/Needs

When I was a kid, waking up I always tell my mom who hugs me before she goes to work, if we could stay "hugging" forever. And as always she would reply that if we stayed like that then we wouldn't be able to live further because she has to work for food. And since then I always have this conundrum in my mind, love or food? Of course, if someone would love you then he/she really has to work in order to feed you. It's just like in the movie Moulin Rouge too. The Duke was offering Satine everything, she would have a comfortable life. But then Christian was offering his love. So what to choose?

And then I just realized this with my dog Harry. I'm the one who talks to him, hugs him all the time, carries him always, wants him on the bed even though my mom doesn't want to. My mom or dad on the other hand, talk/hug/carry him considerably less than the amount of time I have given him. But then they are the ones who give Harry his food. And yet, Harry loves them more than he loves me. Like it's not enough for Harry to see me in the room, he has to see mom always. So it's obvious that he loves my mom more. So the dog chooses food over love.

This is Harry on my mom's bed. I brought him there even though my mom doesn't like it.

I kinda see it now. True love is sacrifice. Yes, I love Harry, we love people, sweet-talk, hug, kiss, however this is not enough. True love is the one that sacrifices. My mom works for us so that we could have this comfortable lifestyle.She works because she loves us so much that she sacrifices her time w/ us, a time of hugging, talking, simply loving, in order for us to be able to live. So Harry knows true love. :P